Business jokes
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
I went to a 90 minute prostitute once. She was a whore and a half, I tell ya!
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
Because he wanted to make some HONEY FLOWS.