Business jokes
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today, and I have to...
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To make some DOUGH on the side.
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.
I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
Inflation is so bad, McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
Because he wanted to make some HONEY FLOWS.
Why don't rappers ever play baseball?
Because they're too busy dropping hits!
What did the rapper say at the bakery?
"I need ALL the dough you got!"
How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.