Business jokes

What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?

Panera Red.

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.

An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.

Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.

I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.

The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.

I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says:

"Clothed Until Further Notice."

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.

One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,

"We will give you a replacement!"

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing with the bent one.

Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?

Because every little bit helps!

My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.

I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?

What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.