Business jokes
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."