Business jokes

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.

One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,

"We will give you a replacement!"

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says:

"Clothed Until Further Notice."

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.

How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.

Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.

Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing with the bent one.

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.

Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?

Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣

Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.

Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?

What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?

A pot-hole.

Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?

Because it's a family company.

Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.

Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?

Because every Lidl helps.

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?