Business jokes

What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.

Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.

Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.

I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.

The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.

One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,

"We will give you a replacement!"

An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.

I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says:

"Clothed Until Further Notice."

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!

What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.

A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."

A horse walks into a bar.

The barman says...

"Why the long face?"

Where do walls shop?--Walmart.

Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?

Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣

Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.

Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?

Because every Lidl helps.