You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
Business Jokes
Q: Why don't Indians play soccer?
A: Because every time they're in the corner, they open a store.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?
Only when they file jointly.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
