Me and my girls friend broke up so I took her wheel chair and she came crawling back
So a girl says to her ex I can't get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we've the girl replies I see you in everything like when I'm walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone
Ex Boyfriend: how and why?
Girlfriend: Because your about to die
A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then?’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
An orphan girl’s boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
“If her parents didn’t want her, why should I?” 😂😂😂
babe im breaking up with you. y? im turning 18 tomorrow
What did the Cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious Him: How do you break things Me: you break things up Him: okay Me: is everything okay Him: were a twig. We’re breaking up
If your boyfriends doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
What did Michael Jackson say before he broke up with Billie Jean? Billie Jean is not my lover.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and airforces but as soon as I spend a $100 on hookers she leaves me
My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, the comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. I’m breaking up with you bitch.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose. Hey give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded! Oh no not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys I just lost my finger a day ago this is Tony later on
i got hit by a bus but the bus was my ex
What do orphis and broke up couples have any common
They cant see each other anymore
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics 😮💨
