Breakup jokes

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.

What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?

It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."

My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.

How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!

What did Michael Jackson say before he broke up with Billie Jean?

"Billie Jean is not my lover!"

Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.