Breakup jokes
When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!
I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.
My ex.
One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.