Breakup jokes

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢

Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.

My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.

I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.

Hey, I broke up with your girl.

-Me: What? Why?

Wait, what?

-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.

I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.

Sike, that's the wrong number!

ooooooooooooooooooooo

My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.

She said we can still be cousins.

My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.

We never met again.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

Why did the man walk into a bar?

Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!

"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"

Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.

Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!

"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno

The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

Me: What's that sound?

Ex: What?

Me: Oh, it's the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

Why did the booty break up with the fart?

It was just too much GASLIGHTING.