Breakup jokes
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
What's Asian but has broken up with its girlfriend?
A dumpling.
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"