My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
Roses are red violets are blue were breaking up because I never love you
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
What's Asian but has broken up with its girlfriend?
A dumpling.
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
what makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar? They can't stand up for themselves.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
