Breakup jokes

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.

Dear algebra,

I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.

What did the cell say when it was dividing?

"It's not you, it's me."

Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡

What's Asian but has broken up with its girlfriend?

A dumpling.

Babe, it's over.

After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.

I meant the movie...

Why did Karen leave me?

Because I was a mushroom.

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢

Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.