Breakup jokes

I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.

What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?

Explosion.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?

They can't see each other anymore.

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

"Hey, today was great."

"What happened?"

"I ran into my ex today."

"What's so great about that?"

"I was in my car."

I got hit by a bus.

But the bus was my ex.

Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?

He didn't wanna hang out.

The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂

I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!

Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?

Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.

So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."

I'd rather kiss a cactus than kiss you. Wanna know why?

Because at least I'd feel something with the cactus than I ever could with you.

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

When you tell your Roblox girlfriend you’re breaking up with her, and then 10 seconds later you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡

Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.