Brain jokes
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
What do you call a deer with good eyes?
Good ideas.
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
Dude, people gotta stop letting 9/11 jokes fly around like bro, you're gonna make my brain explode!
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
I said something in your ear, and then it echoed because of the size of your forehead because your brain [is] small.
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Oooh, I fall apart. Oooh, yeah, mmhmm. She told me that I'm not enough, yeah, And she left me with a broken heart, yeah. She fooled me twice and it's all my fault, yeah. She cut too deep, now she left me scarred, yeah. Now there's too many thoughts goin' through my brain, yeah, And now I'm takin' these shots like it's Novocaine, yeah. Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Never caught a feelin' this hard Harder than the liquor I pour Tell me you don't want me no more But I can't let go Everybody told me so Feelin' like I sold my soul Devil in the form of a whore Devil in the form of a whore You said it No, you said it No, you said it We'd be together Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Ice keep pourin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' Covered in scars and I can't help showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin' Ice keep droppin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' All these scars, can't help from showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin', yeah Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
Putin's Brain:
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
Why did my brother cross the road?
Because he was looking for his brain.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.