Brain jokes
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.
Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.
Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.
If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!