Body jokes
What has a tail, a head, but no body?
A coin.
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street, and there lies a body... What?
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
Man, I miss Savor, savor these balls in ya mouth!
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.