Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.
John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
I have no legs.
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
Jacob has a small penis.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
