Body jokes
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
What do you call a man with no legs?
Hangman.
My dick.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.
Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
Yo mama so fat, even Thanos had to snap twice.
So here's Uranus, where's my anus?
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂
Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.