Body jokes
My dick.
Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"
The son: "I don't know, can I?"
The mom: "May you?"
The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?
A: A skele-TON.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
What is the difference between a priest and a zit?
The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.