Body jokes
Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?
The grass was tickling his balls.
What do you call a girl with no legs?
Unshakeable.
Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.
You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.
Toes for hoes.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?