Body jokes
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.
Suck my balls!
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
Your hairline is so bent, not even NASA can find it.
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What do you call a person with no eyebrows?
Ms. Burgos.
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."
Jugs!
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.