Body jokes

My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.

Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.

I am thinking of removing my spine.

It's only holding me back.

Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming, they found water on Mars!

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."

If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...

There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.

This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.

I'm stumped.

Lick my BALLS!

My pp.

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?

A nugget.

Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?

Doctor: Yep.

Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?

Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!

Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.

Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.

Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait

Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

How did I know where you would go next?

Oh, I felt it in my bones!

Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?

Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘