Body jokes

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

The trom-bone.

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

I have done a ton of work. A skele-ton.

I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh

A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?

Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.

Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!

What do you call it when a gay guy farts?

An abortion.

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

How did I know where you would go next?

Oh, I felt it in my bones!

Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?

Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!

Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.

Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.

Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait

Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The earth used to be flat.

Till they buried yo mama.

My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.

Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.

Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?

Why is a priest different from acne?

Acne waits to come on your face.

Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.

Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.