Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.
I don't think I'm allergic to this.
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
