Body jokes

Why did the guy's birthday party stink?

Because he was turning farty!

A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Don’t worry if you have a stroke.

You’ll be all right.

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"

Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"

Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?

"Sandy cheeks."

Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.

About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Draggin’.

Draggin’ who?

Draggin’ these balls around yo’ face.

Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!

What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?

"Nice tits, bitch."

Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?

Because it got everybody's pokes!

After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.

It's in my basement.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

Q. What's the most musical bone?

A. The trom-bone!

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

What is smegma name?