Body Jokes

When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

Q. What's the most musical bone?

A. The trom-bone!

I don't think I'm allergic to this.

What flowers are on your face?

What does my arm have in common with paper?

They both can be cut.

Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.

It's in my basement.

What do you call a fat midget?

Jigglypuff.

What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?

2 slices of Brad.

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.

What do you call lesbian sex during their period?

A blood transfusion.

Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?

Because it got everybody's pokes!

Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

Everybody loves guns!

Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.

What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?

The taste.