What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
