Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's CHEEK
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days? I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea just put in the freezer
Today in 3rd grade english the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take ur clothes off?" Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "you can't ask that." The english teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired." Finally Little Tim raises his hand, "the shower ma'am." The english teacher clapped her hands, "good job Tim and as for you Elsa you do not have the body for that."
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
whats the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and freddy krueger
they both hove red circles on there bodies
People ask me, are you an organ donor?
"Yeah, over my dead body."
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
When I’m bored I text a random number “I hid the body... now what”
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
Not a joke but theres no where else to post this , ( mainly this post is for the broke people w/o a gym ) . Did you know that the body can't tell if ur using weights? so lifting weights are optional . some beginner workouts W/O weights for like really weak ppls . 1. sit - up's 10 reps 2. push - up's 20 per reps 3. squat's 10 per reps 4. crunches 10 per reps
👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🙌 😮 🫢 🤔 💭 💡 🤣 😄 😃 😀 😊 😍 💘 🕳 What is the difference between paying $50.00 to received a anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to received a anonymous blow job from a able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole? If you give $50.00 to received a anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00 💸 😁
Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual? Because physically challenged gay men do it best 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘
The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes
if u kno what song this is parodying you get a cookie
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.
Your own motheeer makes me giggle
Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.
HEY
Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.
Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree
Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy
I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.
Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”
And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag
Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder
I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder
Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.
Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads
MMMMMMM
ahhhhhh
ohhhohoh
Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight
It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right
Hey Mama!
I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out
but not before I creamed all over her and shout
“I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!
Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!
I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’
Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.
A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from
Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”
That’s the truth there, baby! Even if
yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid
or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why
Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.
I want to fuck every MILF on Earth
it don’t matter how much her ass is worth
or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure
Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.
My body count so high can’t nobody top me
She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”
I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!
Every body knows the joke why was 6 afraid of 7 because seven ate nine but why was 10 scared... because he was wright in the middle of 9 11
What does mammot like on a woman’s body bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm
