Body jokes
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
Just because she can't crawl doesn't mean she can't eat my balls.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.