Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it but when I use her body when I feel like it I am the bad guy?
Your leg is straighter than James Charles
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of google search results
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: Wow look at that sexy body! Savvy!
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time....
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
i just got my COVID vaccine and this lady said you have no idea what you put in your body and.i said yet you are eating chorizo.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
My arm has a different texture then the rest of me lol
(Best pick-up line ever) Your body is like 9/11 I wanna crash into your twin towersđ
My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life, His hands where a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
you so fat
when you stepped on the scale
Buzz Lightyear came out and said
âto INFINITY and beyondâ
Any body who doesn't like Pepsi is a coke âsuckered
The first time you have have to do a full body workout in
Shit if somebody invades America the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go. We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets have become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out? Hell the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have comedy central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the united states. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all, and if I could borrow it.
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
what has a head a tail but no body?
Type answer in chat
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do youâ HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
