Black jokes

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

What’s the difference between white people and Black people?

One runs from the police, one runs for the police.

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!

What's black on top and white on the bottom?

rape.

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!

What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”

What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”

What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”

I'm not racist, my best friends are black for Halloween. :)

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

What do you call an apartment full of Black people?

A crackhouse.

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.

What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.

What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"

"Africa," the parrot replied.

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?

I don't know, I can never see them.

If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A swallow.