Best jokes

How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.

My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.

I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.

*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"

*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

Why do school shooters have the best shots?

They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

Hey guys, I haven't been on in like freaking forever! Sorry. Anyways, I love you, Emerald! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I hope you're on!

Love you all. Hope you all have a nice day, Best regards, Koko, <3

I have the best joke:

"You."

What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?

Pony-tails.

Who was Goldilocks' best friend?

Goldie.

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”

Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The ten minutes of silence.

The best and worst part about being bi:

Best: Double the love, double the fun.

Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.

What does an emo kid say to his best friend?

"Let's hang out."

One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.

So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.