Best jokes

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.

*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"

*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.

I have the best joke:

"You."

Why do school shooters have the best shots?

They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.

“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”

Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”

The best and worst part about being bi:

Best: Double the love, double the fun.

Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

How can you tell your best friend is gay?

His meat tastes like shit.

Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.

Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."

What does an emo kid say to his best friend?

"Let's hang out."

What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).

Why is the iPhone X best for orphans?

There is no home button.

Who was Goldilocks' best friend?

Goldie.