Best jokes
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she works best when she is unemployed.
I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.
The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.
I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.
Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!