Best jokes

I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.

What is the best time to eat dinner?

When you're hungry.

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.

Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!

Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

Why is September 11th the best birthday? Because no one ever forgets it!

The best joke: you. O wait, I can't even say that because jokes have meaning.

What's the best part of a terrorist on Fourth of July?

The finale.

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.

What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.

Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.

For I have everyone's IP address.

What's the best competition to do with an orphan?

Which orphan had their parent for the longest?

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The silence.