Best jokes

What is the best time to eat dinner?

When you're hungry.

Why is September 11th the best birthday? Because no one ever forgets it!

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.

I had the best butterfingers yesterday.

I dropped it.

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

The best joke: you. O wait, I can't even say that because jokes have meaning.

What's the best competition to do with an orphan?

Which orphan had their parent for the longest?

What's the best part of a terrorist on Fourth of July?

The finale.

Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.

For I have everyone's IP address.

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The silence.

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.

My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!