Being jokes

Suspicion

    • I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.

    Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

  • 3

    • Sock

    • What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?

    Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!

    Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).

    Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!

  • 2

    • Monkey

    • Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.

    Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!

  • 3

    • Alphabet

    • Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.

    Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

    The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

    As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

  • 3

    • Fart

    • But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

    After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

  • 5
    • Being memes

    Woman

    • Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.

  • 0

    • Cop

    • How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

    None, they all beat the room for being black.

  • 1

    • Anorexia

    • I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!

    Fire

    • If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)

    Dog

    • So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

  • 0

    • Penis

    • Penis gay be like: among sussy, ding ding ding ding ding ding di di ding.

    Imposter is SuS!?

  • 2