Being jokes

Twin Towers

My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.

Charlie Kirk

President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."

That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.

Adult

Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?

Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.

  • 0
    • Arabic

    Why won't an atheist convert to the religion of Islam? Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be a Muslim according to the Arabic religion of Islam.

  • 0
    • Politics

    A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

    The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

    The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

    The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."

  • 1

    • Why is arson so fun?

    IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE

    Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.

  • 2

    • The best and worst part about being bi:

    Best: Double the love, double the fun.

    Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.

    If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.

  • 3

    • You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

    And an exorcism.

    Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?

    A: Cum on your cousin's face.

  • 1

    • If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

    If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

    If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

    Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

    I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.

    Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.