Being jokes
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
British emo people be like, "Oi, I'm upset."
What do guns and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Bro, just imagine being named Brynley. Couldn't be me.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
Myself.
Your dad must be a mailman.
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.