Behavior jokes
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.
You realize we are tolerating you, right?
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Look, an orphan, let's go beat 'em up.
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.