My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
It's hard to predict the future, especially before it happens.
What do you call a really fat psychic 4chin Teller
caesar went to the future only to see on how the roman's forgot Julius caesar but only made a salad... i think it would have been better if caesar stayed dead
You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die? ̈
You reply with: ̈Surrounded by friends ̈
I ate a time-machine once, it was very time consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.
People are making end of the world jokes, like there's no tomorrow.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
Comebacks when someone say Bully: Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic. Say: At least its brighter than your future
Credit x/@jesopa
Why did the murder invest in condoms?To kill the future buyers!
What will you call burj khalifa after 100 years? Bujurg khalifa (Just a joke)
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery but toady is a gift that is why it I called the present.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw future then the husband answered her " I have no Eye dear"
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love? “The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
if anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
My fitness guru said that if I got raped it would help me in future marathons
1979: i bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future" 2019: the flying cars future
I Didnt ask:❌️
Im sorry but it doesnt seem that anyone meeded this information and there doesnt seem to be any chance anyone will need this imformation in the future: ✔️
