Behavior jokes

How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.

Stop bullying.

When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.

How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

Why did the kidnapper cross the road?

To get the kids at the playground.

Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?

How do you make an ass laugh?

Crack a CHEEKY JOKE.

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.

Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues!

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.