Behavior jokes
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"
Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
Gwen be like: Oh, I hate akeld, he is mean.
Also Gwen: *Spams the N word and momma jokes*
Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"
Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!
If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?