Behavior jokes

Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.

Me: Hey Jim!

Jim: I'm now a cannibal.

Me: WAIT, JIM! N-

A girl walks into the church and confesses.

Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

Priest: "How have you sinned, may I ask?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call a man a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "He held my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (He holds the girl's hand.)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That does not explain why you called a man a bitch."

Girl: "He started taking off my clothes."

Priest: "Like this?" (He takes off the girl's clothes.)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That also doesn't explain why you called the man a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off his clothes and put his you know what into my you know what."

Priest: "Like this?" (He puts his you know what into her you know what.)

Girl: "Yes, Father! Yes, Father!"

Priest: "Then what?"

Girl: "Then he got up and left me naked."

Priest: "That son of a bitch!"

The boobs was funny tbh... But the last was rude.

If you're bored, pull a Technoblade, bully orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

Why does a chicken cross the road?

To poop and pee in the potty!

When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.

What do you call a swearing piece of shit?

Cus-turd.

How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.

Old members come back, we’re bullying the pussies and idiots off the site.

Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.

It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"

Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.

How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.

Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?

He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.

Gwen be like: Oh, I hate akeld, he is mean.

Also Gwen: *Spams the N word and momma jokes*