Behavior jokes
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
Really Karen?
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.
Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-
A girl walks into the church and confesses.
Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "How have you sinned, may I ask?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call a man a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "He held my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (He holds the girl's hand.)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That does not explain why you called a man a bitch."
Girl: "He started taking off my clothes."
Priest: "Like this?" (He takes off the girl's clothes.)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That also doesn't explain why you called the man a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off his clothes and put his you know what into my you know what."
Priest: "Like this?" (He puts his you know what into her you know what.)
Girl: "Yes, Father! Yes, Father!"
Priest: "Then what?"
Girl: "Then he got up and left me naked."
Priest: "That son of a bitch!"
The boobs was funny tbh... But the last was rude.
If you're bored, pull a Technoblade, bully orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?
Aren't I badly good?
Why wasn’t the frog 🐸 crying?
Because he was hoppy.
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
Daniel takes his frustrations out on Shaenaya and his sexual frustrations out on Arunima.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"