Behavior jokes

People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.

I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)

How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?

When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What do you call an emo furry squad?

The suicide furs.

What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store? The cashier scans their wrist too.

Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?

They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?

The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

He jizzes canned cheese.

Why did the man cross the road?

Because he wanted to. :) :) :)

One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

Why did the chicken not cross the road?

Because it saw your face!

Monkey: What ya doing?

Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

Really Karen?

What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?

Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.

Me: Hey Jim!

Jim: I'm now a cannibal.

Me: WAIT, JIM! N-

A girl walks into the church and confesses.

Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

Priest: "How have you sinned, may I ask?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call a man a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "He held my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (He holds the girl's hand.)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That does not explain why you called a man a bitch."

Girl: "He started taking off my clothes."

Priest: "Like this?" (He takes off the girl's clothes.)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That also doesn't explain why you called the man a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off his clothes and put his you know what into my you know what."

Priest: "Like this?" (He puts his you know what into her you know what.)

Girl: "Yes, Father! Yes, Father!"

Priest: "Then what?"

Girl: "Then he got up and left me naked."

Priest: "That son of a bitch!"