Behavior jokes
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Gwen, I know you're the Peter Griffin guy who spams and puts the N word and spams other stuff.
People who put jokes on here re: Depression are really not nice people, you yourselves are a fucking joke. 😩👎
A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.
The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!
The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
Depression jokes are wrong, stop making them; they're cruel and nasty. So stop; people are feeling like they're hated when they read your orphan jokes or depression jokes, so PLEASE stop.
Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!