Behavior jokes

A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"

Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.

Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...

Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.

He won’t stand against the three of us!

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Jeremy likes to kiss men. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

None, the rest fly away.

If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

My class is my house is quite. I suck a dick, now one cares.

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

Me: *posts random joke about a duck*

That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."

That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."

Bro it’s a joke...

What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?

Turkish.

Rape jokes aren't funny.

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.

I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.