What’s the definition of a pedophile Tyler
Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.
Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-
If you're bored, pull a Technoblade, bully orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!
Gwen be like: Oh, I hate akeld, he is mean.
Also Gwen: *Spams the N word and momma jokes*
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.
My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
Why wasn’t the frog 🐸 crying?
Because he was hoppy.
Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?
