Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?
They all produce horrible shit.
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
I hate two-faced people because I don’t know which face to slap first. :)
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
Fuck all y'all hoes!
So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
