Behavior jokes
So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.
Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"
Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
All these African jokes aren't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you. You know we're rich with natural resources, that's why y'all come to steal from us. Shame on you all!
What do you call cringe?
You.
Suck my ass, guys!
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
A guy walked into a bar.
A guy walked out of a bar.
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Little girls cry. Big girls say, "F*ck."
Stop copying each other, fucking losers!
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.