Behavior jokes
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looked in the mirror.
Why am I naughty?
Because I want to be....
Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.
Yo momma's so stupid, she took a shower for 20 minutes after she heard a DIRTY JOKE!
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.