My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?
When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."
Where is my dad?
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.
Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"
Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
All these African jokes aren't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you. You know we're rich with natural resources, that's why y'all come to steal from us. Shame on you all!
What do you call cringe?
You.
Suck my ass, guys!
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
A guy walked into a bar.
A guy walked out of a bar.
