Beat jokes

How do you know a rapper is ready to cook?

He drops the beet.

How does a rapper like his eggs?

Hard-boiled, to match his beats!

Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?

To find his way through the BEATS.

Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the concert?

So he could DEFINE his own beats!

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.

No one will fight me, who is brave and strong enough to beat this beta simp femboy?

What made his beats so bad?

His name.

Your nan's gay.

My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.

My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.

Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?

A: Beat it, we're closed.

Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?

Because he never missed a beat!

This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"

I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.

My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.

What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?

A sniff beat.

Why don't booties make good drummers?

They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.

Why did the rapper go to the bank? (Part 2)

To WITHDRAW some BEATS.

How do rappers keep their breath fresh?

With some FRESH BEATS.