Beat

Beat jokes

Gas

    • This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

    The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

    Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"

    Job

    • A gay man enters a bar. At the counter, he sees a skinhead sitting, which he somehow finds cute. He gathers all his courage, goes to the skinhead and whispers to him, "Do you want a blowjob?"

    The skinhead punches the gay man in the face with his fist, causing him to go down. Then he drags him outside into the parking lot and kicks him again with his boots before going back inside and sitting down at the counter.

    "Man," says the bartender, "but you beat him up quite a bit! What did the man even say to you that you were so freaked out?"

    "I don't know," replies the skinhead, "something about a job..."

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    • Beat memes

    Cop

    • Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂

    Love

    • Joshua White loves blue, A simple truth, tried and true. In his pocket, only six, Yet each penny a valued fix.

    With eyes that seek the azure skies, He dreams of places that mesmerize. A palette of blues, a symphony of hues, Whispering secrets only he can choose.

    His heart beats to the rhythm of the sea, Where waves crash, wild and free. In sandy shores, he finds solace rare, A momentary escape from life's daily wear.

    In cerulean fields, flowers dance, Their vibrant petals, a timeless romance. He wanders through meadows, devoid of strife, Seeking solace in nature's vibrant life.

    Joshua White, a soul of gentle grace, Embracing the world at his own pace. Though his pockets hold a mere six, His spirit soars, never to be fixed.

    For in the depths of his azure dreams, The richness of life's tapestry gleams. And with every breath, he finds anew, That love is boundless, ever true.

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    • Ass

    • Hey Alya and JK Master, how are you guys doing? No one being an ass to you guys today, right? If so, I'll beat them up :)

    Parrot

    • A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.

    They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.

    The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.

    The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.

    The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.

    When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.

    The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."

    The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"

    The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"

    The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"

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