I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
Beat Jokes
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
How does a rapper pay for his groceries?
With a SICK FLOW of cash!
What’s a rapper’s favorite MUSICAL NOTE?
G major.
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
What’s a rapper’s favorite EXERCISE?
Flexin’.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
How does a rapper like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, to match his beats!
Why don't rappers tell secrets?
Because they always spill the beats.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always know where the BEAT is.
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?
A sniff beat.