Beat

Beat Jokes

Girlfriend

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

Rapper

Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?

He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.

Wife

What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?

"I woke up Chris Breezy."

Song

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

Mop

What is the difference between a broom and a mop?

It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.

Sticker

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

Rapper

Why don't rappers tell secrets?

Because they always spill the beats.

Rapper

Why don't rappers ever get lost?

Because they always know where the BEAT is.

Booty

Why don't booties make good drummers?

They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.