Beat Jokes

What did the rapper say to the microphone?

"You better DROP THE BEAT, or I'll drop YOU!"

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he never skipped a beat!

Why did the rapper visit the farm?

To drop some FRESH BEETS!

I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

I thought a few hits would cheer him up!

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

A text message conversation shows the question "What's wrong?" with the answer "Whenever Sonic beats Eggman in the final level, Eggman always outruns him and gets to his giant robot before Sonic catches him, beating Sonic's average running speed of 767.269 miles per hour which is the speed of sound. This means that Dr Eggman is actually the fastest thing alive." followed by the reply "nothing". The message is shown on a white background with a phone keyboard shown at the bottom.

What's the best part about beating up an orphan?

They can't tell their parents.

Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?

Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!

Why was the rapper always the life of the party?

Because they knew how to DROP the BEAT!

My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:

Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*

Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.

I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂

What's the difference between depression and a girl?

XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.

Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?

Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.

Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.

Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.

I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.

Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.

In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.

Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.

Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.

So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.