Beach jokes
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
What is a dry swimmer?
Not in the water...
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”
What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana? They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
Why did the fish cross the sea? To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂
I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.