Beach jokes
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
Beach whales.
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.
What does Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass slippers.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.
What is a dry swimmer?
Not in the water...
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."