Beach jokes
Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
What is the best day to go to the beach?
On Sunday.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some QUICKSAND BARS.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?