Where do keyboards go to have dinner? The space bar!!!

so two condoms walk by a gay bar, what does one condom say to the other, “hey, wanna get ‘shit-faced?’”

A man walked into a bar…He got seven stitches.

A man walks into a bar…Oww

A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper looks confused and says, “Oh really? You have a drink named ‘Bob’??”

So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar… just kidding :))

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, “I thought you guys only drink blood?”

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, “I’m making tea.”

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants. A guy walks buy and says ''Pardon me sir, but you’ve got a wheel hanging down your pants. The pirate responds ‘‘I know. i’ts driving me nuts!’’

Stephen Hawking walked into a bar…

…Just kidding

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, “AU, get outta here!”

I went to a seafood shop

I pulled a muscle

guy: Say “I’m a man” every time I stop. person: guy: you walk into a bar. person: I’m a man guy:you meet a girl person: I’m a man guy:you and the girl go to a hotel
person: I’m a man guy:you guys go on a bed person: I’m a man. guy:she whispers into your ear person:I’m a man

Three men walk into a bar… you would have thought the last one would have ducked

A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go.

A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.

2 deer walk out of a gay bar one says to the other, i blew like 20 bucks in there

A priest a pedo and a rappest walk into a bar and thats just the first guy

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says ¨I want h20” the other said ¨ I want h20 too¨ The second scientist died.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills so he asks the bartender if its a jar of tips. The bartender says no, its for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, well if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler’s mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month. So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog, when all is silent the man walks in and asks, so where is the fat lady with the tooth?

Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says “your getting laid tonight” She replies “what are you some sort of psychic” He says “No i’m just stronger than you”.

A single sentence walks into a bar.

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