Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says “your getting laid tonight” She replies “what are you some sort of psychic” He says “No i’m just stronger than you”.
A blind guy walks into a bar.
A blind man walked into a bar …
And a table and a chair
A Weasle walks into a bar the bartender says “Wow I’ve never served a weasle before, what can I get you?” “Pop”, goes the weasle.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar…
Helen Keller walked into a bar. And a chair. And a table. And a wall.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
So a blind guy walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
What is the suns favorite chocolate bar? A Milky Way 😱
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, “Can I join you?”
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names the bartender asks. The American says William Matthews. The Asian says Same Ting
Sixteen molecules of sodium walk into a bar. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, ¨Sorry, we don’t serve food here."
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills so he asks the bartender if its a jar of tips. The bartender says no, its for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, well if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler’s mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month. So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog, when all is silent the man walks in and asks, so where is the fat lady with the tooth?
so two condoms walk by a gay bar, what does one condom say to the other, “hey, wanna get ‘shit-faced?’”
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar, the man orders a beer one for him and one for the giraffe. After they finish their drinks the giraffe falls over and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door. The bartender says "Stop! you can’t leave that thing lying on the floor" The man says "Mate, that’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe".
Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me." The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”
A priest a pedo and a rappest walk into a bar and thats just the first guy
Say I’m a man after every sentence You walk into a bar. (I’m a man) You find a girl . ( I’m a man) You take her home.(I’m a man) She whispers in your ear.(I’m a man)
A man walked into a bar…He got seven stitches.