Bar jokes
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?
Because there’s a bartender in there.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
I think I may have forgotten the rest of the joke.
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
A man walks into a bar.
Then he walks into a Pole.
Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?
Because his bars were ice.
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra bars and dough!
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀