i once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "theyre all dead hookers ince theyre in the trunk."
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" the blind guy responds with "No I don't wanna tell it that many times.
Why did the catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole? because someone asked him what would he do for a klondike bar
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar just kidding he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
An Orphan walks into a bar and The bartender says "buddy you have to go home" the orphan replies " where is home"
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
A baby seal walks into a club....
A priest a pedo and a rappest walk into a bar and thats just the first guy
A single sentence walks into a bar.
3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea”
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.” The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”
2 Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier, they put in their names her name was he gay and his name was shi A ho
What does a bar fly and a Necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a Cold one once in awhile.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar- just kidding.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk, Molly walked into a bar, her mom laughed and walked under it.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar? Milk-hee-hee way
