A dwarf walks into a bar.He ask for a shot of whiskey.The bartender gives him the đ„ and it turn into a gallon of whiskey.The bartender sees this and takes it back and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
So there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here so take your drink, mates and fuck off." He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense." replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, He's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!". He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink he opens with, "Say aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldnât tame one single horse. One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. âWell parter!â He began. âI guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!â
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said âNo pets allowed!â He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, âJust pretend you're blind!â He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left. The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, âYou know your âguide dogâ is a chihuahua, right?â The man said, âThey gave me a damn Chihuahua?!â
Also gehen Addison, Gwen und Bradley alle in eine Bar. Dann schreien sie alle an, sie sollen aufhören, Bier zu trinken, weil sie es nicht mögen. Dann schreien sie den Barkeeper an und sagen, er solle das Bier nicht verkaufen, weil sie es nicht mögen. Die Kunden lachen sie als Paviane aus. Was machen Addison, Gwen und Bradley? Sie kommen auf diese Seite und argumentieren, dass Witze zu gemein sind, und weil sie sie nicht mögen, stoppen sie jeden, der sie als WITZ macht. Das Ende
A snorlax was in a bar. And he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oranberry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that snorlax fatter than this region?
After every line, say âIâm a man.â I went to the club. (Iâm a man) I met a girl. (Iâm a man) I took her to the bar. (Iâm a man) We got some drinks. (Iâm a man) I took her home. (Iâm a man) We got in bed. (Iâm a man) She whispered in my ear, (Iâm a man)
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says âbuy me a drinkâ. Sheâs replies angrily â get ur own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink.â Trump responds âthe kind that will grab you by the p***yâ.
Why should you be friends with emo's? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off and when it expires they get rid of themselvs.
A paraplegic walks into a bar...... IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE CAN'T WALK
There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Steven hawking walks into a bar oh, wait he doesnât walk
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other aren't you going to introduce me to your friends. He replies sure, Dis my butter from another utter.
A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter, he approaches her and says "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion but I was curious to know if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady smiles and says "That's a lot of money, of course I would." The doctor smiles and says "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady says "What are you joking? That's no money at all, Of course I wouldn't, what do you think I am?" The Doctor smiles again and says "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."
People are like taquila glasses
you gotta shoot them down fast
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer but they only had 2 dollars each. Christopher got an idea and run away to the butcher and see if he got something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys. - Are you crazy?! Said Tony to Christopher. 'We don't have any money!' - Take it easy now, said Christopher. 'I have a plan.' When they finnished drink everything up christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth. The bartender saw what they did and throw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub. After the 10th pub said Tony: I can't do this anymore. I am drunk and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk. - How do you think i feel? Said Christopher exhausted. ' I dropped the sausage in the 3th pub!'
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about making a horrible sound. The bartender says "Hey, looks like he can't play that!", and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
so my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child i was with him and they both approached us and they said only ÂŁ50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me i was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friends uncle killed my dad . the kid was never seen again . her name was Madeleine McCann i think im the only one who knows where she is but overall the head from the hooker was good
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high smoking weed talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage. and then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor gets drunk and ask the rabbit can i have one more scotch pretty please? And the rabbit says hell to the naw I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath.
Two mates walk into a bar Mate 1 : Shit! look at that spider over there Mate 2 : Whateverrrrrrr Mate 1 : No, seriously it's bloody massive Mate 2 : (Turns around) Shit thats huge, I thought you were Joking Mate 1 : No I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)
