Bag

Bag jokes

Item

    • He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.

    Silence...

    And then at last she spoke...

    "Unexpected item in the bagging area."

    Family

    • Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?

    Because they have no family to share it with.

    Father

    • My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

    Bag memes

    Alley

    • What's green and has a thousand nipples?

    A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.

  • 1

    • Basketball Game

    • A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

    But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

  • 1

    • Adoption

    • Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.

    Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?

    Son, you're adopted!

    Parachute

    • There were 5 people on an airplane.

    1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world

    The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."

    "Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."

    The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.

    The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.

    The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.

    Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"

    And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"

    Tea

    • In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.

  • 1

    • Candy

    • I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.

    Backpack

    • You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

  • 1

    • Man

    • Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

    Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

    Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

  • 2

    • Magazine

    • Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

    The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

  • 0

    • Article

    • Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

    Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

  • 0