I had to share a table recently with a disabled man when I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention? Don't get carried away.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
What do a shopping cart and a wheel chair have in common... they both carry vegetables
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth, it's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737 - 800 which can carry around 300 passengers...
It crashed in a cemetery
They recovered 500 bodies
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, nevermind, carry on.
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"
She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."
The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"
The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"
"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"
The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
That time when you realise that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
Radiohead had to remake Fake Plastic Trees after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs
Cash and carry
what's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag ones plastic and dangerous to play with the other is to carry groceries.
Why did the ACLU blocked 🚫 📱 the cellphone number of ☺ of a christain nationalist minister because the christain nationalist had a virus on his cellphone 📱 and keep calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card carrying member of the ACLU
A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned
