There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
Father: “Son, you were adopted.”
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”
My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that i’ve got 30 minutes to get out. That’s short notice!
My Llama’s cousin sucks at going on vacation.
He just stands there; “I’ll pack uhhhh…”
What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday and 1 for Sunday.” The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday.” The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February…”
H: walks into bedroom Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
Later that day
W: walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race. What is the order of finish?
- Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
- Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
- Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
Kid: I have the corona virus
Nurse: here is an ice pack
Hi welcome to David’s sperm bank you Jack it we pack it how may I help you?
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation? Do you need help packing your shit?
3 men where in a desert 1 man was holding a jug the 2nd was holding a paper bag and the last was holding a car door a man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug he said it was his water and if he got thirsty he would take a drink. Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag the guy said this is my packed lunch so if I get hungry I will eat my lunch. Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said it he got hot he would roll down the window.
Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first. The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his shits already packed.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight? A: They get their shit packed the night before.
Tim and Tom where at work Tim say I sick of this I going to act like a idot to get sent home so Tim was on the roof saying I am a light bulb the boss walk in and say Tim go home your acting like a dick the the say Tom why you packing up for he says I can’t work in the fucking dark can I
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip? “Want me to pack your shit?”
An elderly was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip. “I will see her in one week” A week later he died
There were 2 guys in an asylum. One name Kenny and the other is Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny act like he was packing his bags. Nurse said “What are you doin Kenny?” Kenny said “Going to Florida for the week.” Nurse said “Alright see ya when you get back.” Next day Nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny laying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. Nurse said “What are you doing Kenny?” Kenny said “I am at the beach” Nurse said “Oh I forgot your in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back” Bob’s room was across the hall. Nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. Nurse said “Goddamnit Bob what are you doing?” Bob said “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny’s wife right now, he is in Florida for the week”
gay guy? poo poo packed lol