Bag

Bag jokes

Black

    • A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.

    At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.

    Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"

    Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.

    The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"

    The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."

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    • Santa Claus

    • Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.

    Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.

    So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.

    Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.

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    • Article

    • Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

    Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

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    • Basketball Game

    • A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

    But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

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    • Morbid jokes

    • What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?

    One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.

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    • Family

    • I think my family is racist.

    I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

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    • Pedophile

    • I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

    "But why?" I replied.

    "Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

    "That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

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    • Beaver

    • 🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵

    LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA

    I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.

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    • Punching Bag

    • If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

    They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

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    • Father

    • My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(